„And how does it come, that you suddenly see everything from such a critical point of view?”
“I
don’t know, these days I’m just rethinking. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to
convince anybody of what I’m doing is right. It just feels right for me, now,
here and today.”
For a long time I’ve been reflecting, how to make this, what I want to do exactly, what I’d like to keep of sexbooksandheavymetal, which labels, what I want to write about, what I’d like to do. And in the end I’ve always been asking myself: What do I want to tell the world? As I started writing (online) it was because I wanted to give, I wanted to change the world a little bit, at least my own world, make it more beautiful than it was for me in those days. I wanted to arouse something in other people. Like their words do in me.
In the beginning of 2014 when I wanted to start blogging, we just did it, we didn’t have a plan and somehow it was good, it was real. But still I got used to having concept, and I like the idea of having a concept behind the stuff I’m doing. I guess because it’s more difficult for me to find excuses with a plan. But on the other side I’m up late at night writing, because at two o’clock in the morning my brain allows my heart to find the right words.
For a long time I’ve been
reflecting, what I’d like to say.
Fashion is and will always remain one of my biggest hobbies. I love being in front of the camera, arranging outfits and editing the pictures after a shooting and doing all these things again and again and again. But sometimes it bores me. Sometimes fashion is too superficial. Do I just want to show clothes?
Books made my soul, my
character, they’ve been making me laugh, cry, angry, happy and wiser. I love
all their worlds they are taking me into, the smell of their pages, the stories
they’re telling, everything about them. I’ve been writing book reviews for years
now, at least since I’ve been thirteen years old. Lately I read a book and hadn’t
written one. And it felt great.
My whole puberty I hadn’t been
as much on the outside as the time when I got my first mobile phone including a
camera (two mega pixel, it was kinda the sh*t!). I took photographs of
everything, spiders, flowers, the sky, leaves, literally everything I came across. And my
skills improved, I really loved being able to capture the world around me like I
see it, I still love it. Although I still have no real knowledge of what I'm actually doing.
There are so many things I love I could blog about. I could talk about fashion, about the latest trends, show outfits, write book reviews and quote my favourite lines, I could make playlists of my favourite songs, I could show photographs, I could draw and share recipes. I could do all of it, I could take few things and put them together and brew a blog of it, I could focus on one.
For a long time I’ve been reflecting what I want to say.
And I want tell stories, not
show things.
Because the stories have always been keeping my head up, have always been making me stronger somehow. It’s been words which built me up again and again. There were weeks, months I didn’t took one single photo, I didn’t want to care about what I wear, I didn’t read a book. But I never stopped writing.
Welcome on cowsandunicorns –
lets share stories.
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