Monday, May 1, 2017

cherry blossom moments

September 4th
Take my hand and hurl yourself into adventures with me I can’t forget. Surprise me and just be you, let us fligh high and fall low, leave me alone and hold my ground, when I need you. And even more when you need me. Push me away and attract me, let me feel safe and grope in the dark. But don’t turn the lights off; sometimes I panic in the dark. Be a riddle in an open book and hide the solution on a piece of paper you swallow. But write down everything on a second one so I’m able to find it if I’m really looking for.

Hurl me into an adventure, I can’t forget, let us stand under water falls and freeze in snow storms, lay under palm trees in the sun and fully live this world. Dance with me until the morning dawns and dance with others. Kiss me until you’re fed up with me. Or maybe not. Just do whatever makes you happy and don’t hurt me. Just a little bit maybe, what comes with it, but don’t leave me on the floor when I was kicked. Carry me to bed and tuck me in.

Surprise me and just be yourself, because that’s the way I can love you. Surprise me and don’t ask for my name, instead ask if I like blue. Ask if I eat breakfast. Surprise me and be you and not all the others. Not at all like all the others.

It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.
John Green | The Fault in Our Stars

Winter is over, with you it became spring. With cherry blossoms and corny sunrises, with jackets I’m pulling over my chin in the morning and forget at noon. Finally spring again, finally noticing the little things, white petals, carried by the wind through the warm air like snow and my hand held by yours while you’re complaining about the cold air blast ruining your hair and I want to laugh because this moment is perfect and I don’t want to call anything perfect. But for this instant perfect is in the dictionary.

Why not stealing a cart, or no, let’s say borrowing it and go out through the streets, take a picture, freeze this moment and the smile in my face which is already hurting in my cheeks, but it’s good, everything is good and I want to hug the whole world, bray out my luck and share it, but at the same time I want to fill it in an old jam jar and preserve it for eternitiy, so I can never forget how you let me feel in this moment.

Run off with me, not away, simply off, in the city illuminated by street lights. Always too late, because a kiss is never just one, because one look in your eyes is carrying me far away and I can’t stop smiling. Taking hold of hands under the starry sky, find them and talk for hours, maybe say nothing even longer, because I love just feeling you next to me. Unexcited. I want to bake a cake not to have a cake to eat, much more for our faces smudged with dough. And I want to paint, the smell of fresh colour hanging in the air and wearing old and ugly clothes, anyway, not able to keep my hands to myself. Dreaming of sun and ocean and snow and ice and the big and much more small things, of life.

Snapshots between us, and time flies and stands still, everything at the same. One glance is enough and my heart stops beating for a second, races. Standstill between us, when we look at each other, thoughts revolving around you when I’m biting my lip. Mental cinema and void in my head. The fact that I smile when you’re doing nothing special, talking until four o’clock in the morning, fucking until three o’clock in the afternoon. You and I are polaroid moments in the ugly light of reality, and even without any filtre the picture is always perfect.

“I feel like I’m fifteen again!”
“Don’t mind, just enjoy it.”

No comments:

Post a Comment